unprime:

when you’re trying to sing your favorite song and your friend tries to start singing with you

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randombosmer:

REBLOG if you like VIDEO GAMES or you PUT BEES IN PEOPLES PIES WHILE SINGING IN SPANISH

pkmntrainermadoka:

when ur friend starts liking something u rly like

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striped-crusader:

bagmilk:

mom i can’t go to school today i’m ugly

but you’re ugly everyday

condom:

trust:

i want $23,000 and someone to kiss me

I want the $23,000, hold the kisses

  • Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*