Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
Not being able to kiss someone you really rEALLY REALLY wanna kiss is kinda sad and very dumb.
somebody give me a pep talk
that time of year is approaching
scary lawn decorations
terrifying tv programs
people in costumes going door to door
Sometimes I think of how one tiny mutated cell can wipe out our whole civilization, but then I watch a video like this and think “nah, we’re way too awesome of a species to be defeated.”
I feel like my life is complete after watching this.
HOLY SHITTING CHRIST.HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO KEEP SUCH A GOOD TONE QUALITY. WHAT THE SHIT. I CAN’T. JUST.
Seriously, as somebody who is relatively good at the flute let me tell you that that is really fucking difficult. REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. That’s like the flautist’s equivalent of trying to talk normally whilst breathing in: it just isn’t doable. This guy is using some freaky fucking sorcery. As if that weren’t bad enough: HIS FINGERS ON THAT LAST BLOODY SCALE HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN YOU MOVE THAT FAST. I CAN’T EVEN DO F BLOODY MAJOR THAT FAST AND IT’S THE EASIEST BLOODY SCALE WE HAVE HOLY CHRIST.
The Pied Piper of Hamelin 2014
”?!” makes a sound in my head, but I can’t describe what it is.
i think everyone thinks about becoming a prostitute at one point in their life
6th grade was a hard time for me
talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver
but imagine if we had tiny little dragons
the size of puppies
and they would go wherever we went sitting on our shoulders and hissing at everyone who tried to touch you because you’re their most special thing in the universe and they are so tiny it’s ridiculously cute
the fact that this post has more notes than i ever expected makes me really glad